Monday, February 22, 2010

Emotions in My Closet- Breaking Up With My Jonathon Saunders for Target Skirt

Dear Jonathon Saunders for Target Skirt,

I'm just going to come right out and say it...We are over. You just don't work for me and I'm tired of being the only one trying. I know all my friends are going to think I'm crazy. On the outside you seem so perfect: color blocked in grays and blacks, slim pencil skirt style, so on trend...

But it really seems like you don't care, and it's clear that you don't want to compromise. Any of my shirts that I introduce you to, well, you just mock them and refuse to get along with any of them. And I feel like I'm suffocating, you're so constricting that it's hard to climb stairs and get out of cars! There's just no give on your behalf.

And look how you made me look in public...

I'm so embarrassed! Is it possible to make me feel more dumpy than I already am? Well you've succeeded! At first I thought it was me, but no, it's all you, this is all your fault! I don't have to look this way!

I know after a year of hanging around this may come as quite a shock, but I've been feeling this way for a while now and have wanted to let you go. I'm certain we'll see one another sometime while I'm shopping at Goodwill, but please, just pretend that we don't know each other. It will make both of our lives so much easier.

Thanks for nothing,

PS-Erase my number. Don't call me.


Cafe Fashionista said...

I love you J. This is the most eloquently written kiss-off ever. :)

Anonymous said...

hahahaha! great post! bye bye skirt!

The Starving Stylist said...

Hahaha what a great read! Well hopefully that will be the last of him! ;)

Pearl Westwood said...

Ha ha well done J, you kick him to the curb x

erin :) said...

great dear john letter! you're really good at acting, well at least through writing. haha. :)

and thanks for your lovely comment and for following me! i really appreciate it! your blog makes me happy as well. :)

kpeach said...

love this-toss it!

Jessie77 said...

bet he won't be back
thanks for a good read

My Delusional Mind

kirstyb said...

lol this made me giggle xoxoxox

Sher said...

The classic break up of "it's not you, it's me" LMAO Good one :)

Fun blog!